Hallelujah

This is Rad Repeatin' Tarzan. When you press a button on his back, he does his trademark yell and makes motions with his arm that look like he's masturbating. This is an action figure for children. I'm serious.

I thought he was so hilarious that I put him on top of my pink Christmas tree instead of a star. He will stay there for a very long time because I leave my tree up all year.

He looks like the impossible lovechild between Fabio and a Chippendale's dancer. He gazes at the heavens while touching himself inappropriately. He makes everyday life a religious experience. I'm eventually going to turn him into an obscene cake topper.